Wow, it was a year ago this week I finished my last chemo treatment. It had been 20 weeks of pumping poison into my body and I was finally done.  I couldn’t wait!  The chemo’s job was to kill all things inside me, good things & bad things.  Even though the drugs had stopped, my body had a recovery process to go through.  Life continued and thinking back I don’t even remember when my swollen fingers and toes went back to normal size, or when my joints stopped aching like a 90 year old woman, or when the bloody noses stopped, they just did.

Not working for the past few weeks, I feel like I’m going through another recovery process.  I still habitually check my phone for e-mails, I have no idea what day of the week it is or the date, and most of all I feel guilty, like I’m not pulling my weight.  It’s all very strange, suddenly I’m a recovering workaholic.  I am quickly learning to cope.  I add structure to my days by going to the gym every morning.  I feed the Polly Planner in me by planning excursions for me & Greg.  I stay focused by making to-do lists – both short-term and long-term.  I push myself to do the things I never did because I was too busy working (or at least that was the excuse I used). 

I like to have goals to work towards, plus I like to win.  Instead of just doing the one half marathon a year, I want to do more, no more excuses.  I just signed up for a 60-mile bike ride on Martha’s Vineyard in early May with some girls from the gym.  I want to run a race with my step-daughters in NYC this year and Greg & I are looking for our next half marathon.  I will need to do the half in under 2 hours this year.  The closest I ever got was 2:01 in 2008, when I lived alone in Western Mass with nothing to do beside work and run.  No excuses.

I am trying to reconnect with some old friends.  I have not been good at staying in touch.  Between work, the illnesses, and the commuting back and forth I could tell myself I didn’t have time.  I have to call “bulls$t” on that!  Friends are important.  I don’t know what I would have done without some of my friends in the last few years.  Friends are fun.

So, don’t be surprised if you hear from me.  My recovery is underway…