Wow, it was a year ago this week I finished my last chemo treatment. It had been 20 weeks of pumping poison into my body and I was finally done. I couldn’t wait! The chemo’s job was to kill all things inside me, good things & bad things. Even though the drugs had stopped, my body had a recovery process to go through. Life continued and thinking back I don’t even remember when my swollen fingers and toes went back to normal size, or when my joints stopped aching like a 90 year old woman, or when the bloody noses stopped, they just did.
Not working for the past few weeks, I feel like I’m going through another recovery process. I still habitually check my phone for e-mails, I have no idea what day of the week it is or the date, and most of all I feel guilty, like I’m not pulling my weight. It’s all very strange, suddenly I’m a recovering workaholic. I am quickly learning to cope. I add structure to my days by going to the gym every morning. I feed the Polly Planner in me by planning excursions for me & Greg. I stay focused by making to-do lists – both short-term and long-term. I push myself to do the things I never did because I was too busy working (or at least that was the excuse I used).
I like to have goals to work towards, plus I like to win. Instead of just doing the one half marathon a year, I want to do more, no more excuses. I just signed up for a 60-mile bike ride on Martha’s Vineyard in early May with some girls from the gym. I want to run a race with my step-daughters in NYC this year and Greg & I are looking for our next half marathon. I will need to do the half in under 2 hours this year. The closest I ever got was 2:01 in 2008, when I lived alone in Western Mass with nothing to do beside work and run. No excuses.
I am trying to reconnect with some old friends. I have not been good at staying in touch. Between work, the illnesses, and the commuting back and forth I could tell myself I didn’t have time. I have to call “bulls$t” on that! Friends are important. I don’t know what I would have done without some of my friends in the last few years. Friends are fun.
So, don’t be surprised if you hear from me. My recovery is underway…